Words of Intimacy Part 14

Pop went everywhere. He just stared at me while wiping pop from his face. " Are you okay?  Do you need me to drive?" I smiled "I want you to sleep in the bed with me. Clothing optional. I love you more than life itself. You have always treated me with respect. You have been so patient with me. I feel in my heart that you have waited long enough. I want tonight to be the night."

" Whoa!" he grabbed my hand and looked me in my eyes. " Wait are you sure? Seriously, I have waited five and a half years. I don't mind just holding you tonight til you fall asleep. Another year of blue balls won't kill me, it might hurt though."

I punched him in the arm again. " I'm ready Rollins more than ever. You have always been a gentleman. Not many men, would sleep in a separate room or  bed when their girlfriend comes over. I know in my heart I want you. Tonight. Please don't make me change my mind." He smiled the biggest smile ever and started texting. Now I was confused. "Who are you texting right now?" He put his phone back in his holster and then pulled me closer to him by my chin. He gave me the most sensual and sweetest kiss I had ever felt. He pulled on my seat belt as he always did.

"Don't worry about all that. But I am starving. As much as I want to get home as receive your precious gift, I can't have my stomach growling while making love. I know of a good Italian restaurant. We can celebrate our engagement with dinner and a couple drinks for me because to be quite honest I am now actually really nervous." He started the car.

"Wait! Sorry, I have nothing to wear. I am not going to wear my uniform to a fancy restaurant. And why in the hell are you nervous? You have done this before. Honestly I don't know what to expect. I am completely new to this."

He sighed, " Do you really think I will come unprepared? I packed your black dress I like to see you in. And your birthday shoes. Why am I nervous? I really want your first time to be special. I thought this day would never come." Tears started to fall down my face. I looked out the window thinking he may not notice. The car shut off. " Macy, look at me. Now. You crying scares me and you know this. Happy or not they have to stop. I think you're not ready."

I slowly turned to him and said, "I know you don't like me crying but I swear to you I am happy and ready for you in the bedroom and in marriage. I just love how you always so prepared and thoughtful. Please let's not argue. We can talk about this over dinner.  Please Rollins." He stared at me with eyes full of mixed emotions. He sighed and starting the car.

The restaurant was just enchanting.  It had subtle lighting to not take away from the candlelight. There was a pianist that played soft soothing music. The ambiance was definitely romantic. But something was  very weird. He was eating so slow that I was beating him. I grabbed his hand and smiled," Rollins what's wrong?" He put his fork down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. Now I was getting nervous.

Right before he spoke his text message alert went off. He grabbed his phone even though he knows that drives me crazy when people use their phone at the table during a meal. "I already told you I am nervous. I just need to know that you are truly ready. But before you answer, there is one more question I would like to ask you. You have said no before but I am praying you will say yes today. I am just hoping for perfect day and now a perfect evening. Will you please turn my place into our place?"

He was killing me today. " Haven't I made enough big decisions for today?" I sighed, " but yes I will."

He jumped up and yelled, "Yes!!!" Everyone in the restaurant turned to look at us. He fixed his jacket and tie and said, " I apologize ladies and gentlemen but this wonderful and beautiful lady has agreed to marry me." The cheers and applaud came again. Embarrassed, I just smiled and held up my left hand. You could hear some women say 'aah'. He sat down and said, "Check please."

We rode in silence all the way to his place. Now our place. I didn't think I would feel so nervous but so excited. I was one step away from shaking. I wanted this to happen. I am going to get my fairytale life women dream of as little girls. As we pulled into his parking spot, he reached over to rub my leg and I jumped.

"Whoa! I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed. "Are you ready to go in?  I have another surprise for you." I paused and he continued, "Calm down. Its nothing big. I think I gave you enough to ponder on for the month." He got out the car and came to open my door. He helped me out and then pulled me into his arms.  He kissed me so gently on the lips which seemed to make me melt down below. I felt more relaxed. He then moved to my cheek, then my ear, and then down to my neck. I let out a soft purr. "Ahem, lets go inside."

When he got to the door, he gave me a little tan box with a orange bow on it. I opened it slowly. Inside was three keys attached to a key chain that read 'FUTURE MRS. POWERS'. A tear fell and I let out a little laugh. " So you just knew I was going say yes to everything today. But what are all the keys for?"

"All you need to know right now is the gold one opens the front door. Go ahead. Try it."

I approached the door, inserted the key and opened it. I walked in and took off my shoes. When i turned around Rollins was holding a single white rose in his hand. I smiled and accepted it. He then grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to the master bedroom. Our bedroom. He stopped at the door.

With love in his eyes he said,"Macy, I love you with everything I have inside my heart and soul. If you do not want to do this, ju..."

I kissed him just to get him to shut up. Apparently we both were nervous. He turned us around so my back was on the door and continued to kiss me. Our tongues began to dance and tangle with each other. That moan slipped out again but this time it was not me.

He grabbed my hand and whispered, "I am going to take that as a 'yes'. But just so you know, this is what you do to me," he pulled my hand to his Mojo. I gasped but didn't move my hand. I wanted to do this. I kissed him as i rubbed his hardness. "OK, lets go inside." He opened the door and more tears fell down my face.

The room was romantically decorated with candles and  white rose petals everywhere. It smelled of soft lavender and a hint of coconut.  There was an heart made out of rose petals on his bed. Our bed. Chilled sparkling apple cider by the bed. Soft jazz music played in the background. A path of petals that led from the bed to the bathroom. I looked into the bathroom where there was even more candles and petals there too. A bubble bath was drawn as well. "How did you...."

He waved his phone at me then put it on the dresser. As he took off his coat and tie, he said, "I know people that know people. "

"So you telling me that Malachi and Troy knows? I can't believe you. Of all people your bodyguard staff.  The mood is..."

He grabbed me and said, " I never said them, so chill. Nope not another word. You are not allowed to talk til I tell you you can. Do me a favor take your ponytail down." I did as he asked. He started kissing me again. That moan was definitely me. He started backing me up into the bathroom. He reached behind me and unzipped my dress. He released from the kiss to watch the dress fall to the ground. He slowly outlined the left side of my body with his pinky finger. I felt my Secrets become very moist.

He put one hand behind me and with a snap my bra begin to expose my breast. He kissed each one slowly as my bra slid off my arms onto the floor. I began to unbutton his shirt and let it slide down his arms. Nervously, I froze when it came to his pants and he sensed it. The issue was we never saw each other completely nude before. He kissed me again which helped me regain my nerve. I swallowed hard and undid his belt and pants. He stepped out of them and I noticed the bulge at his center. He got on one knee again but this time he helped me out of my thong. When he stood up, he stepped out his boxers.

We just stared at each other for a moment. He broke the silence, "You are absolutely beautiful." He stepped in the tub first and then helped me in. We sat down with me between his legs. I leaned back and put my head on his chest. I have never felt so relax and at ease. He began to wash me up slowly. His hands caressed every inch of my body.

"Rollins, I hope you know I love you so much and couldn't imagine this moment with anyone else. You are definitely making this a night I would never ever forget." I turned to him and kissed him. I slowly turned the rest of my body toward him. I started to wash his body, enjoying every touch of his smooth yet chiseled body.

He pushed me forward as he stood up. He stepped out, grabbed a towel, and looked at me, "Relax for a moment. I will be back in a moment to get you." Is this what living with him would be like? Marriage too? What a thought.

Words of Intimacy Part 13

Words of Intimacy Part 13

Macy

The next couple days I avoided his calls and texts. I needed to think. On Thursday, while on my lunch break, I decided to ask my co-worker Sara, how she felt about porn.

"Well that is a sticky subject. I know before I got married my husband had a nice collection of porn videos. And considering we, meaning me, decided to wait til our wedding night, I kinda did not care. Its the fact that he is a guy and has needs. Not to mention, they are just pictures. I would rather him stare at the pictures, videos, and websites, instead of him going out there to find some hoe. If pleasuring himself is what he needs to do to stay faithful, I am all for it. But now that we are married, as his wife, it is my job to do my best to pleasure him so he does not have the chance to turn a page or type in a website. I actually took some candid pictures of myself and sent them to his phone for those lonely days. I hope that helps." Sara said then she put her cigarette out and walked back in the building.

I guess I did feel a little better. Once I was off, I went straight home. I decided to take some pictures of myself for Rollins so he would have something to drool over. I took a couple fully clothed, some without my shirt, and a few completely topless. I still wanted to save some things for our wedding night. I was not ready to send them. I took a deep breath and called him.

"Hello Ms. Macy. I am so glad to hear from you. I was going crazy. I tried to give your space but its hard when I know you are mad at me. Are you still mad?"

"I am sorry. I needed to process everything. I think the thought of you being with other women makes me angry, but I know that is your past. I can accept that. The porn on the other hand, I do have a problem with but I now have a better understanding why you do it. I get that you have needs that I can't satisfy."

"If it is seriously a problem, say so. I will throw everything away." Rollins pleaded.

I paused for a moment and thought about it. "No that would be selfish of me. I appreciate the fact that I never have seen it and didn't know. But can you make me a promise."

"What is it?"

I exhaled, "Well if we get married you will get rid of everything porn related. I want to be the only thing that turns you on."

He laughed, "Of course, that is a given. And it is not if we get married it is when we get married. I told you I am going to marry you. I love you Ms. Macy. So what are you doing tonight?"

"Actually I may have a date."

"What? Excuse me. You gonna get someone hurt."

I laughed, "That would not be nice. I hope we go get some seafood. Then maybe back to his place for some cuddling."

"Well you know what? That it is fine. You can go but I think I should come along to chaperone to make sure this guy is a gentleman and keep his hands to himself."

"What time should we be ready?"

"I'm on my way." He hung up the phone. I could hear the smile in his voice. I did miss talking to him but I needed to take the time to process everything so I wouldn't say or do anything I would regret. I love and trust him with all my heart. In the middle of my thoughts my phone rang and it was Serenity.

"Hey sis! Whats up?"

"Nothing much, Macy. Just checking on you."

Here we go. "I am fine. Now what is the real reason for this call. Are you and Malachi fighting?" I asked.

"No, actually its worse. I found out that Rayshawn will be getting out soon."

"And? Stay away from him. Let Malachi know. Get a restraining order. Do what you have to do to be and feel safe."

I could hear the sadness in her voice. "I know. I know. It is just scary. I am just tripping. I have been really considering moving in with Malachi."

"well, of course Mom and Dad are not going to agree. But do what you feel is best for you. I will support you regardless. Would you like me to come over tomorrow?"

She hesitated, "No, Malachi and I are going to Dayton for the day."

"Well have fun. Call me when you get back. Bye."

We hung up the phone. I hated seeing my sister like this. She was finally getting her life back and now this fool is being released. I hope she does move in with Malachi. I know he will protect her.

Rollins knocked on my door 30 minutes later. When I opened the door, he grabbed me by my face and gave me the biggest kiss ever. It stole my breath.

"Wow! What was that for?" I asked while finally closing the door.

"Just because I could. I have so much to be happy for. You ready to go?" He said while rubbing my arm. A crooked smile grew on my face. I pushed him against the wall and kissed him back. His arms wrapped around my waist. I love when his hands slips into my back pockets.

"Yes I am pretty much ready. Let me grab my  purse. I got something for you." He nodded with a smile and followed me. I walked into my room and picked up my phone. I took a deep breath and pushed send. His text message alert went off.

"What is.....Why are you texting me?..Oh that's cute...uh huh...uh huh....Wow..wow..Oh shit!" He stopped talking all together and just stared at his phone. He adjusted his pants. "Oh wow. I am speechless. What is this for?" He said as he closed the door and started backing me up to the bed till I fell.

"I wanted to add to your collection." The closer he came, the more i backed up on the bed. He slowly crawled on top of me.

"Wait! Who took these?" He paused right above face.

"I did."

"Good. I didn't want to go to jail for assault or murder." He laughed as he kissed my neck then my lips. "Well, thank you so much for the pictures. I think I can rid of my whole collection now." He planted a kiss on my lips. I soon felt his tongue cross the threshold of my lips. His hands searched my body. His hands went to the buttons of my shirt. "May I?"

I nodded. One by one, he undid each button. Nervousness fluttered in my stomach. He open my shirt and kissed down my chest. His hands moved my bra out of his way. He began to admire my breast with his lips.

"Macy! You home?" Sylver bellowed.

"Shit!" I said. "Yes, I will be right out." He began to button my shirt back up. We walked out of my room. "What's up Sylver?"

"I was just trying to see if you wanted to watch this bootleg movie I just got from work but I see you are busy."

"Whatever. We are on our way out."

We walked out to his car and rode to Red Lobster. We came straight back because we both had to work tomorrow.

 *************

"So girl tell me exactly what happened. Don't skip any details. You know I  live through your crazy life to make my life interesting."

"You have some serious issues Sylver. Well, this is what happened. As you know Rollins is a true romantic so when the first five roses arrived to my job I didn't think anything of it, but the note on them was strange.."

"Macy what did it say? Probably just I love you..."

"If you shut up I will tell you. Each rose had my name on it then a single letter then signed Rollins. And it threw me off cause these five roses came in a large vase. But I did not think anything of it and went back to work because I had two tables in sushi. Within a half an hour there was a delivery of three more roses with they same style of note. And the half an hour after that and the half an hour after that til I had fourteen roses with a bunch of random letters on them.  Before I could think twice about it my order was ready so i had to run my food out.

" After delivering the rolls, I realized we needed more soy sauce so i ran to the kitchen to get some. When i returned there was Rollins standing in the middle of the restaurant in the gray suit that I love and my vase of roses in his hand. I was shocked and nervous. He grabbed me and pulled me to a vacant table while the whole restaurant seemed to stop what they were doing to watch."

"Oooooooh girl. Damn I need some popcorn and hot sauce. This is getting good."

" You a mess. Anyways, once I was seated he started pulling off the notes while telling me that he loves me more than its humanly possible. That our names were written in the stars to be destined for greatness only if we are together. Girl he told me that I complete his existence. Life would be purposeless without a great woman by his side for the rest of his life. I was so caught in his words and blinded by the tears I didn't notice what he was doing with the notes. He handed me some tissue and pointed to the letters. Once I was able to form the words properly I looked at him who was now on one knee."

" What did it say? You're killing me."

"Will you marry me?" Screams filled the phone." Girl, act like you have some sense. Never mind look who I am talking too. Any who,  I couldn't do anything but nod my head. The restaurant cheered and applauded as he put the ring on my finger. My boss said I could leave, so we went to dinner and then back to his place to celebrate." I said while staring at my left hand with a four-karat pear shape diamond ring.

"Then what happened?" Sylver pushed.

" If you don't get a man.  I said we celebrated. As soon as he left for work this morning, I called you." I don't know what time he left. If it wasn't for his text I wouldn't  have known where he was.

" Fine. Be that way. And fyi I can have a man if i wanted a man but remember I am just playing the field. I will see you for dinner tonight."

"Bye Sylver."

Don't get me wrong, I have been friends with Sylver ever since we were in elementary together but she is that loud ghetto friend that mouth doesn't have an off  or volume button.  We all have one of those and if you can't think of one there is a good chance you are that friend, just saying. One good thing is now that we both are 26 she stopped wearing crazy colors in her hair but her hoochie clothes til makes appearances every once in a while.

Even though Sylver is my best friend I couldn't tell her everything that happened. It's good to keep some things to yourself. Yesterday when we left the restaurant, I could barely breathe because I was still in shock. When we got in the car I realized I still haven't said anything to him other than the nod of the head. All I could do was stare at my hand in amazement and disbelief, wondering when would I wake from this beautiful dream.

Before he started the car, he turned to me and pleaded, " Macy King we are not leaving this parking lot til you say something to me. If you are mad, say it. Happy, say it. Horny, we can do something about that."

I smiled and hit him in the shoulder.

"Ow. I was just kidding. Say something. You have never been this silent. Normally I am hoping you would shut up...."

"Punk."

He laughed. " That is better. Ms. Macy if this is all too much or too soon, please say so. I love......"  I put my fingers on his lips which soon followed by my lips. " So ok then where do you want to go eat to celebrate? You name it, we are there."

Who could think of food at a time like this? I know what I do want. " I want to eat at your place." I said while grinning.

" There isn't any food there and you know it. Lets at least get something to eat first then we can go to my house. I just put brand new sheets in the guest bedroom for you......" I put my fingers to his lips again.  I shook my head no. "Okay then we can just order in...." I silenced him again. "I am confused."

"Let me make you understand something. I am nowhere near mad. I am ecstatic and these are tears of joy. Next ordering in is fine" I grabbed his hand and look into his eyes, " And tonight I refuse to sleep in the guest bedroom."

He looked confused, " Okay you can sleep in my room again. I can sleep next to you until you fall asleep and then I will go into the other room. As usual." He grabbed his pop and began to open it.

"Well basically I have gift for you. I want to share my Secrets with you."

Words of Intimacy Part 12

Words of Intimacy Part 12

Sylver

I walked up to his door and knocked gently. I could hear him listening Marques Houston song ‘Sunset’. I couldn’t help but to smile because it was one of the songs he serenaded me with when were in the beginning of our relationship. The song switched to ‘Circle’ and then the door opened. He stood there still in his dress shirt and slacks from work.

“Hey Silly.” I walked in passed him. The apartment hadn’t changed much. Majority of the place consist of a large area that contained what would be the living room, dining room, and kitchen. There was a large brown leather sectional with recliners on each end which faced a flat screen TV. The TV was definitely new.  In between the two was a nice area rug covered in geometric shapes in different shapes of brown and grey. I began to take off my jacket when I felt him behind me helping with it. He placed it on the arm of the couch. He came to my front and lifted my chin slowly. He placed a kiss on my lips.

“Baby, you look tired.”

“I’m good. How was your day?” I asked as I took my shoes off and sat down on the couch.

“Apparently not as busy as yours. You want something to drink? I bought some Boone’s Farm just for you.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” I watched him disappear behind me and then return with two glasses in his hand. “Thank you. I am shocked you still listen to Marques Houston.”

“Of course. He has some nice vocals and nice lyrics. You got a…” He was interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”

“No need. It will go to voicemail. See it stopped ringing. Now tell me about work.” I took a nervous sip of the wine and wished it was something stronger.

“Um ok. Well work was cool. Nothing exciting happened in the world of cable but it pays the bills. That is all that matters. So why are you so tired?” He took a gulp of his drink.

“I am not even sure why it was that busy. Thursdays are the day special members get an additional 15% off. But it felt like everybody and they momma wanted shoes or was returning shoes. And then Roger…” My stupid phone rang again. Shit! “Sorry, let me put it on silent.” I pulled my phone out. I did not recognize the number.

Josh looked stone faced. “No, answer it then turn it off.” He leaned all the way back on the couch.

Nervously, I did. “Hello?”

“Yo, Sylver. This is Trey. What’s up wit you tonight?”

“Oh hey. Look, I can’t talk to you anymore because I am in a relationship now.”  I could have passed out from nervousness.

“Fa real! That was on some fast shit. What? I wasn’t good enough for you to be wit. Who is this busta ass?”

“Man, you can chill out with that shit. I got to go.”

He yelled into the phone. “Hold up. How you going to try to kick me to the curb like dat?”

“It’s not even like that I…”

Josh sat up and said, “There’s no need for explanation. Say bye and hang up now.” I did as I was told. “Please turn it off.” He said as he stood to refill our glasses.

I placed the powered down phone on the couch next to me. As he placed my glass on the coffee table in front of me, I said, “Josh please don’t be mad. I …”

“It’s cool. You told him that you were in a relationship and that’s all you needed to say. But there was one thing you said that I disagreed with.”

My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “What?”

“Shit. Ugly word for such a beautiful lady. You shouldn’t use it. But let me take the time to tell you that I don’t do jealousy very well.” He sat down close to me. “I do not share. You see all of this right here?” He waved his hands all over my body. “This right here? This is all mine now. You understand?”

I smiled, “Oh really? Well that must mean all this, right here is mine. Right?”

“You better believe it. Come here.” He kissed me softly and then the intensity increased. He pushed me back onto the couch and continued the kiss. His hand was sneaking its way up my shirt when his phone rang. “Seriously? Why is work calling?” He sat up and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He put the phone on speaker. “This is Joshua.”

“Mr. Wesome. This is Sarah. I am sorry to bother you but I cannot get the drawer to balance and the paperwork will not print.”

“Hold on, Sarah.  Silly, I’m sorry. Let me take care of this and then I will turn my phone off.  I will be right back.” He kissed my forehead and walked away.

I laid there slightly frustrated. I looked around and notice his massive DVD collection. Something caught my eye. I walked over and pulled out the movie Love Jones. My all-time favorite movie. I turned around and saw him still on the phone.  I decided to watch the movie in his room.

When I walked into the room, I noticed not much has changed while I put the DVD on. There was a dark blue comforter covering his king sized bed that was positioned against a wall near his closet door. I flicked the switch on the wall of his closet. I couldn’t believe his closet was still organized. One side was his work clothes and the other side was everything else. I grabbed the only pink t-shirt in the closet and tossed it on the bed with a smile.

May 2011

Josh and I have been talking on the phone for a month but we keep missing paths to have a first date. I was ready to give up on this relationship ever working. Tonight, we finally were to make time for each other for a date. First, I told Macy I would accompany her to a softball game that Rollins’ was playing in. I had nothing better to do plus all the proceeds supported breast cancer.

We arrived late because Macy couldn’t get off any earlier. It was the fifth inning and Rollins’ team was winning. Watching the game made me remember why I hated sports. They were outside. I can’t stand being outside with the bugs. I only have to suffer through two more innings.

“Sylver, let’s get something to drink.” I nodded as we stood up and headed off the bleachers towards the concession stand. I was happy for the pure fact that no one was there. No line. While she was ordering, I saw two guys walking towards us. One looked very familiar.

“Oh Shit!” I turned around quickly towards Macy. “It’s Vintage. He’s here.”

Macy’s eyes widened. “Is that the dude you left in the restaurant?”

“Yes.”

She picked up her drink and turned around. “C’mon let’s just head back to the game.”

We tried to walk pass them but Vintage grabbed my arm. “You gonna try and walk passed me like you don’t know me?”

I tried to pull my arm away. “Hi Vintage. Bye Vintage.”

“I think you owe me more than that. So you want to explain what the hell happened?”

“Not that I owe you anything. You were talking and acting ignorant. Most of the date, you were on the phone. It is in the past now. So, oh well.” I yanked my arm away. I started walking away again.

“Whoa, girl. I think you at least owe me your half of the bill. 47 dollars. Pay up.”

“She doesn’t owe you anything. Let’s go Sylver.”

Vintage grabbed my arm again harder. “You need to tell yo girl to mind her business. This is between me and you. Now, you gonna pay me or not?”

“Get off me, Vintage! You are hurting my arm.” I wiggled, but the more I did the tighter his grip grew. Macy tried to help me get free with a failed attempt. He pushed her away and she almost fell. “Macy, just go. Ow, shit!”

“Let’s go.” Vintage started walking towards the parking lot. I saw Macy pull out her phone and I knew she was calling Rollins’ phone.

“What the hell is going on here?” I heard a voice from behind us

We turned around and there was Josh in a pink T-shirt that read “Men against breast cancer” and a pair of dark jeans. I assumed that this was his work function he had to go to. He had invited me but I already agreed to go with Macy.

“This has nothing to do with you, bruh.” Vintage’s grip slacked up. I jerked my arm away.

Josh stepped closer to us. He held his right hand out to my left shoulder and pushed me behind him. “Well you got your hands on my girl so I think it does, um bruh.”

“That bitch owes me 47 dollars. I want my money.”

I turned and saw Rollins and Malachi running in this direction. Josh backed up a couple steps pushing me backwards out of Vintage’s reach.

Josh laughed, “Bruh, you that hard up for money that you going after women for it. I suggest you keep it moving and don’t say anything else to her or about her.”

“That bitch...”

“Seriously?”  Josh stepped forward and the next thing I saw was Vintage hitting the ground.

“Damn. One hitter quitter.” The guy who was with Vintage started laughing while trying to help him up. He was out of it. Just then Malachi walked passed us and got in Vintage’s face. I could not hear what was being said. I saw him point at me and then Macy. Josh looked at his hand and then at me. Macy came closer to me and hugged me. Strangely Vintage, followed by Malachi, walked over to us.

“Look, I am sorry for everything. Don’t worry about the money.” Vintage said and awkwardly walked away with Malachi behind him.

I walked to a bench nearby and exhaled heavily. I leaned back and just stared up at the sky. I vaguely heard a conversation between Rollins, Macy and Josh. Before they walked away, I heard Rollins tell Macy, “Give them a moment alone.”

Josh came and sat down next to me and said, “So how is your day going?”

“This is so embarrassing. Thank you so much. All of this over a dinner.  I know I was wrong for sneaking out of the restaurant but dude was just rude.”

“This was about a dinner? Well I am just happy it wasn’t drugs.”

****

I took off my clothes and through on the t-shirt. I climbed under his comforter and curled up tightly with his pillows. Relaxation swept over my body as I watched the movie. The movie was close to the halfway mark when Josh appeared in the doorway. He walked in slowly with a smile as he moved my folded clothes over to the dresser.

“So you just made yourself comfortable?” He sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and began to remove his shirt and shoes.  “That shirt. I remember that day. I was on the bench and I saw you walked passed with your girl. I was shocked and happy to see you.  When I went to follow you, I noticed you talking to dude. I was going to walk back and deal with it later but then I saw him grab you. I can’t stand when men put their hands on a woman. That makes my skin crawls.”  ”

“I remember you calling me your girl. That was one of my favorite parts.”

He removed his pants and crawled into bed, snuggling behind me. “Mine too. You know I will never put my hands on you violently. But…”

I rolled slightly over onto my back. “But what?”

“If you start acting special again, I’m going to spank that round ass of yours.”

I rolled back over toward the TV. “Whatever. You tripping now.” He threw the covers back and placed his hand on my butt.

“Oh Silly, please try me and see if I won’t do it. Just give me a reason. You got a reason?” His hand rose above my butt.

I was nervous and aroused. I placed my left hand over my left cheek in protest. “No! No! My bad. I believe you.” He laughed and I moved my hand. Next thing I know, his hand came down on my butt with a slap. I let out a yelp. I was shocked because along with a slight sting, it triggered a little moisture in my special place. “Shit, Josh.”

“That was for doubting me. Watch your mouth. Now come closer to me so we can watch the rest of this movie.” He covered us both up and pulled me back until I was deep in his arms, which is where I slept.

I woke up to daylight beginning to brighten up the day outside. I laughed inwardly to myself because, like before in our previous relationship, Josh hand had migrated itself to my breast. I remember almost always waking up like this with him. I tried to move his hand but his gripe grew a little tighter.

“Good Morning. Where do you think you are going?”

“Nowhere. I was just trying to get your death grip off my boob.” I tried to remove his hand again. His fingers started to circle around my nipple. I told myself not to moan.

“What if I do not want to move my hand? It’s comfortable where it is.” He whispered in my ear. I let out a giggle. He nibbled on my ear as he continued his assault on my nipple. I pressed my butt into him and I felt him press back. He rolled me over onto my back.

We stared into each eyes for a moment before he started kissing me. The kiss became untamed and so did his hands. The more his hands wandered, the more nervous I began to feel.  I stopped the kiss and looked away. I felt a panic attack coming on. I pushed him off of me as I sat up and turned to the edge of the bed.

“Whoa! What’s going?”

I couldn’t explain how I was feeling other than the pure fact that I wanted to cry. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What was happening to me?

“Silly, baby, what gives?” He crawled next to me and I turned my face the other way. “Look at me…Please.” He reached for my face and I dodged his hand. “Sylver. Tell me what’s wrong?”

He grabbed my face again but this time I turned my face to him. My chest started to hurt. I had the feeling of an elephant on my chest.

“I am not sure what’s wrong, Josh. I think I am having a panic attack. I just feel very overwhelmed. I’m sorry.  Let’s do this.” I laid back down on the bed in my original spot.

He exhaled heavily and laid next to me. He propped his head up with his hand and said, “Yes, let’s do this. Let’s talk about what’s really wrong?”

“Just hold me.”

“You know I will but I need you to talk to me. Just let go of everything that is bothering you.”

Now I exhaled heavily, “Josh, that’s the problem. I don’t know what it is. You don’t know how bad I want to do this but my emotions are going out of whack. I feel nervous. I feel frustrated. I feel scared. I know you don’t believe me but sorry I don’t care right now because I am just as confused as you are.” I jumped out of bed quickly as the a few tears escaped from eyes. I went for my clothes. “I am not use to these feelings. I think I am afraid of being with you. I am scared that I will hurt you again. I got to get out of here. I am…”

Without moving, he said, “Sylver stop! Get back over here! Back it up!” He patted the bed. I walked back over to him slowly. “First, you need to take it down a couple of notches. You are getting very high pitched. Second, sit down. It seems like you having some serious issues. I didn’t know I had that kind of effect on you.”

I release a little chuckle and rolled my eyes. Oh shit! His eyes widened. Quickly, he pulled me back flat onto the bed. He got slightly on top of me in my face.

He asked “Did you just roll them eyes in my direction?” I shook my head no. “I think you testing me? Roll that ass over.” I shook my head no again. “Well, I suggest you start talking then and maybe I can forget about this offense. When I was touching you, what was going through your head?”

I felt his hand caressing my butt cheek. “Well right now, you got me anticipating a slap on my ass.”

He gave a slight chortle. “Smart lady. Your language. What else?”

“I guess I am a little overwhelmed and nervous about this all. I mean, I really don’t know.”

“Fine, let’s try this exercise. Tell me how you feel when I do this.” He kissed me sensuously on my lips soon followed by his tongue.

“Um I feel relaxed and aroused.”

“Now, what if I add my hand here while I kiss you.”  His hand slid leisurely up under my shirt to my left nipple. I felt my back beginning to arch which pushed my breast more into his hand. His lips rejoined mine as his fingers did circles on my nipple. “I take it that you enjoyed that. So what if my hand journeys down south.” My breath hitched as I felt his hand creeping towards my flower.

“That overwhelming feeling is coming back but I am still very aroused. I feel a little nervous. And..um…um.” My speech was failing me. I was trying to absorb the pleasure he was giving me. Was this really about to happen? His fingers danced on top of my blue thong. I gasped when I felt the satin material being pushed to the side. My hands grabbed his head as I intensified the kiss.

He whispered into my mouth, “You ok? Do you want me to stop?”

 I grunted ‘no’ as he fingers stimulated my flower. He sat up and tugged at the shirt telling me to remove it. He propped himself up against the tall black wooden headboard to watch me. He patted his legs inviting me to get on top of him.   I was happy and nervous to oblige. I do not understand why I am feeling all these emotions. I did my best to hide them as we sat eye to eye. The kissing and groping continued. I felt Him rubbing up against my flower.

He kissed and suckled each breast tenderly as his hands kneaded and massaged my butt.  Through heavy breaths he said, “Sylver, I hope you know I never stopped loving you.” He reached over to the nightstand drawer and pulled out a gold circle. “You still look a little uneasy. Do you want to keep going?”

I have been waiting for this moment since we first started dating but my nerves were getting the best of me. I grabbed the gold circle from his hand and backed up. He moaned and watched me carefully as I pulled Him out to dress him in his rubber coating. I smirked as I admired how massive and wide Him was. He pushed me back onto the bed until my head was at the foot of the bed.

A cocky expression came across his face when he said, “It may be hard but don’t make a sound. I like it quiet.”

He entered me and I felt full to capacity. “Josh!”

“Shh! If you get loud, I will stop.”

I bit my lip and tried to focus on not making a sound.  The pulsating rhythm he was performing was driving my head to spin.  I thought I would scream but instead a moan slipped out. He froze and stared into my eyes. I placed one finger over my mouth so he understood that I was trying to stay quiet. He kissed my lips and continued to penetrate me mercilessly in multiple positions until we climaxed.

I laid there quietly next to Josh, mesmerized at the event that just took place. I was beyond confused and excited. He rolled towards me with a quizzically expression.

“You ok? Tell what’s going on in your mind?”

“I have never experienced anything like that before. I am worn out” He gave me the look to continue. “Well, first I have never been told stay quiet. Second, I did not know I was that flexible. And I have never been brought to tears.”

He laughed, “My bad, Silly. I wanted to really enjoy this moment, that’s why I said stay quiet.  For the record, you didn’t do a very good job of it. Look, what time do you have to be at work?”

“Luckily I am off today because I am going to sleep all day.”  My eyes were slowly beginning to close. My body was drained. I saw an ugly evil grin grow on his face. I watched him sit up and reached over to the nightstand. My eyes completely opened when I saw the gold circle in his hand.

“I need to make sure you get some proper rest. So once we get finish, you can sleep here while I go to work. If you wake up before I get back, which I doubt, just lock up behind you.”

He crawled between my legs and I began to stutter. “B-But I-I…”

“I know you are not talking back, are you?”

“No sir.”

Words of Intimacy Part 11

Words of Intimacy Part 11

Sylver

“I hope you got something to eat.” My brother said as the two of them headed to my kitchen.

“You guys need to get out. Like now. Good bye.”

“Well it is nice to see you too.” Rob said in my direction. “You want to go out this weekend? We can do some big things. You know how I do it.”

“Uh, no. I have to pass but you both can leave now.”

“Back up off my little sister. You know that ain’t going to happen.” Sterling said to Rob. “Damn sis why you acting like that? You know I ain’t got no food at my house. Oh snaps! I see why. What’s up Jay? I didn’t know ya’ll was kicking it again.” Josh past me and greeted Sterling. “Jay this is my boy Rob.”

The two shook hands.

“My bad playa. This you?” Rob asked. Josh nodded. “My bad. No disrespect.”

Josh turned towards me. “It’s cool.”

“My bad too. Come on Rob let’s get out of here.” They walked past me towards the door with chips in their hands. “Alright sis, I will hit you up later. Oh and I forget to put gas in the car but there is five dollars in the ashtray. I’m out.” I heard the door closed.

Josh slowly backed me up to the counter. “I thought you said they weren’t coming in.” He picked me up and placed me on the counter. “Be honest. Did you have sex with Rob?” I nodded.

“Josh, I’m sorry. I tried to stop them from coming in. I...”

He kissed me. “I am not sure what to say right now. But I do not want that dude over here again. Next time tell your brother to keep his friends in the car. Now, about those shorts…” His glare grew intense.

“I know. It shows too much thighs which are for your eyes only.” I rolled my eyes. Bad move.

He picked me up and my legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me back to my bed. He dropped me onto my black comforter. “I hate when people roll their eyes at me.” He reached down and pulled my shirt over my head. He pushed me back onto the bed then undid my shorts. He stared into my eyes as he pulled them off. “Don’t roll them again. You hear me?”

Being this close to him prevented my mind from telling my mouth to answer. He slowly slid on top of me. I felt his mouth kiss my knee, my thigh, my panties, my belly and then between my breast. He came to a halt once we were face to face.

“I said do you hear me.”

I was breathing very hard. “Yes.”

He kissed me on my lips. His fingers strolled down the middle of my body. It lingered on my panties. He then started grinding his hardness on my center. The moisture increased. “Yes, what?”

“I will not roll my eyes at you.” I said quietly with a moan. He smiled and kissed me again. He grinded one more time slowly and deeply. I released a loud moan. He jumped up off me quickly. “Josh! What are you doing?”

He walked to the doorway. “I bet you won’t roll your eyes at me again.” He left the room. Before I could even respond my alarm on my phone went off.

I laid there on my bed completely pissed but on the other hand I will not roll my eyes at him again. I listened as he took a shower. I stood up and started finding my clothes for today. I ran and took a quick shower in Macy’s bathroom. I hurried out and started putting lotion on my body. By the time I finished putting on my matching black lace bra and thong set, Josh was walking in my room tying his tie.

“Wow, you look like you are trying to make me late for work.” He finished his tie as I was pulling on my pants. He walked over to me and said, “I am about to leave. So are you still coming over my house tonight after work?”

“I’ll think about it.”

An evil smile appeared on his face. “Oh ok Silly. You do that. But see what happens if you do not come.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me sensuously. “You know the address. Now walk me to the door.”

I threw a tank top on and followed behind him. I watched him pick up his bag. At the door he turned to me and kissed me again.

“I really do hope that you consider coming over tonight.” He pulled me into his arms and caressed my back. “Question, do you have money to put gas in your car? Remember your brother said he forgot to put gas in the car. Those five dollars is not going to get you very far.”

I got what he was saying now but I wasn’t going to take money from. Great, I sound like Macy now. “I am ok. Thanks for the concern.”

He laughed as he pulled out his wallet. “Here. Make sure you put this twenty in the tank before you go to work. To a certain extent, you have not changed. I still know when you are lying.”

I was about to protest but I lost the energy to even fight it. “Well, if I have to take it. Have a good day at work. I will text you later.” I placed a kiss on his lips and then closed the door after he walked out.

I made to work on time after I filled up my tank, of course. Another long and busy day at work.  We were so busy I could not take my whole lunch.  To add to my enjoyment, I got to work with Roger again. It was just something about working with him that made me feel awkward. I couldn’t place my finger on it. But that all didn’t matter because I had Josh on the brain. I love knowing that I had some one that cared about me, who was waiting to see me.

By the time I was scheduled to clock out, I was tired and my feet hurt. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be good company for Josh. I rushed home to change my clothes and really consider if I should go to his house. I walked in the door to Macy cooking and walking around the kitchen.

“Hey girl.”

“Hey Macy. What’s wrong? You really only cook when you mad.”

She stopped stirring whatever was in the pot. “I’m ok. I guess. I don’t know. Anyway, how was your day? I love those shoes.”

“Ok, so you are trying to use distraction which means you are not ready to talk about it. Well whenever you are ready to talk about whatever it is that the black Donald Trump did, you know how to find me. I am going to go change my clothes and make a phone call.”

I walked into my room and instantly kicked off my shoes. I changed into some jeans. Finding a shirt was a little hard. Josh had me realizing that majority of my non-work clothes were revealing. I just threw on my favorite brown shirt with keyhole cleavage. I jumped on my bed and propped myself up against the headboard. I was ready to call Josh.

“You’re late.”

“Huh? I basically just walked in the door about 15 minutes ago.” I answered back.

“Well that means you are about 15 minutes late getting to my house. Are you still coming?” You could hear the anticipation in his voice.

“Yes, baby, I am. I just wanted to change my clothes and my shoes. My feet were killing me. We were so busy today.”

“If you are too tired to come over, I seriously understand.”

Just then Macy came into my room. I told her to stay quiet. She climbed on my bed and placed her head in my lap. I knew something was bothering her. I stroked her hair as I continued my conversation.

“Nah. I’m good. I will be leaving in about 15 minutes, once I put my shoes on.”

“Ok cool. Did you put gas in your car this morning?”

I laughed, “I had no choice but to. That boy must have floated over here on fumes. I wasn’t going to make it to work on that and back. I can pay you back tomorrow when I get paid.”

He grunted, “I’m cool. No need for that. Just hurry up and get here. That would be your repayment to me. You hungry?”

“Not really. You cooking something or should I grab you something on my way there?”

“What did I just say, Silly? Hurry and get your ass over here.”

I laughed again. “Ok I will see you soon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I placed the phone down on the bed and continued to stroke Macy’s hair. “So do you want to talk about whatever it is before I leave?”

“I am just confused about how I feel about Rollins’ past. It bothers me just a little that he has been with other women. I worry about not satisfying him.”

“That’s right; you had the sex talk with him. You have to remember that is his past and he loves you. Some things can actually be taught if you are not a natural at first. Don’t worry so much about that. Daddy Warbucks will have no problem showing you the ins and outs about sex. You get it? You get it? The ins and outs?” I laughed loudly.

She sat up and crawled off my bed quickly. “Ok I am out of here on that joke. Have fun with Josh tonight. That is Josh you are meeting up with?...Ok good. Have fun. Thanks for the talk.” She walked out my room. I threw on my brown flats and walked out the door.

Words of Intimacy Part 10

Words of Intimacy Part 10

Sylver

I woke up Wednesday morning with the biggest smile I have had in a while. I didn’t have to go into work until 11:30. I gave a slight frown when I saw the clock. Why in the world am I up at 5:30? Ugh, I am not a morning person. I rolled over and grabbed my phone off my night stand. I apparently missed a text from Josh.

                “I AM GUESSING YOU WENT TO BED ALREADY.  I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. CAN I SEE YOU TOMORROW? CALL ME WHEN YOU WAKE UP. I GO IN AT 9. GOOD NIGHT SILLY.”

Butterflies filled my stomach. He got me acting like some school girl. Should I call him?

“Hello?”

“Good morning Josh. Did I wake you? You told me to call you when I woke up.”

He cleared his throat with a chuckle. “I love a woman who can follow orders.”

“Ha Ha Very funny.”

“I thought so. Good morning, Silly. What time do you go in?”

I sat up against the headboard. “11:30. I only work til 7.”

“Ok, can we get together tonight so we can talk some more about us? There are some things I would like to get off my chest before we really do this relationship thing.”

I took a deep breath. “That scares me. Not sure if I want to say yes then. I am not in the mood to cry.”

“Really? Don’t act like that. It wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t completely honest with you. Now can I see you tonight?”

I cannot stand when people tell you ahead of time that they need to talk to you. “Why don’t you tell me a little about what you have to get off your chest?  If you don’t, I am going to do nothing but worry about that all day long while I am at work. “

“Babe, listen. I want us to just be on the same page when it comes to us. You are making me get deep this early in the morning before my coffee.” I heard a lot of movement. “You said you left me the first time because I was getting too serious for you. I was really feeling you then and I wanted you to meet my family. Do I want to get married? Yes and have at least 2 kids. But I have time. I am only 29. Do you want to eventually get married?”

This was pretty deep for the morning. “Wow, um, yes I do, eventually.”

“That’s good to know. When you told me that BS about you sleeping with dude, that shit hurt. I was seriously bitter. I said I would never back track and give a girl a second chance to hurt me. But my heart jumped when you called and I couldn’t ignore that. I fell hard for you. I felt as if you made me soft or something. I wasn’t used to that feeling then and the feelings you are making me feel now. My love for you was real.  Do you understand what I am saying, Silly?”

I couldn’t say anything. I was trying to stop the tears. I really hurt this man. I don’t deserve him. I never had a man confess real feelings for me. He was the first man to ever say that he loved me.

“Sylver? Answer me.”

“Yes.” My voice was quiet.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop crying. This is part of the reason I wanted to talk to you tonight so I can be with you if you cried. Shit!” The tone in his voiced grew tenser.  There was silence from both ends of the phone for a couple minutes. I did not know what to say to him.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything Josh.” Now the real water works began to flow. “I can’t do this. You deserve better. I can’t handle a man like you. When we were together it used to scare me how well you knew me and understood me. I slept with dude to make you hate me. This is going to sound stupid but I was scared of you because you were too good to be true. I can’t do this. I have to get off this phone.”

He yelled, “Sylver, if you hang up that phone, I swear I will...Talk to me.”

“Josh, please.”

“Why would you be scared of a good thing? Explain that to me.”

“Because I don’t deserve them. I am not the type of person that good things should happen too. Can I get off the phone now?”

“Sure because I am almost there! You better open the door.”

I sat straight up on my bed. He wouldn’t. “Josh, no! Don’t come over here. I am fine.”

“Girl, please. I’m not listening to you. I am already parking.”

I jumped up from my bed praying he was lying. There he was getting out of his car with the phone in his hand. He reached in the back of his white 2009 Chevy Impala and grabbed what look like a suit. I stepped back from the window and slightly panic. I forgot I was on the phone.

“Come open the door, Silly.”

I pressed the end button and rushed to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.  I backed up as he walked in. He placed his things down in the chair. I kept my back to him as I closed the door to hide my face.

“Come over here so we can talk.”

I wiped my face with the back of my sleeves. “How did you get here so fast?” I slowly sat across from him on the couch.

“I was going to surprise you and show up with breakfast. But then you started crying, so I forgot about the food. Look, I am not trying to hurt your feelings at all. I wanted you to understand how I felt when you left me. You are going to have to help me trust you again. You need to talk to me whenever there is a problem. Do you understand?” He grabbed my hand.

I couldn’t look him in his face. I nodded. He lifted my chin.

“I missed you.  I honestly found myself comparing other girls to you. None of them was cute like you. They weren’t loud like you or had your funky attitude. They definitely did not have a body like yours. Is this what you wear to bed?” He smiled as he stared at my jersey that I used for pajamas. It barely covered my butt. In my panic I forgot to put pants on.

I couldn’t help but to smile back. “I am not sure if I should be mad or happy over that.”

He scooted closer to me. “You should be happy about that. I know I am.” He placed his hand through my hair and pulled my face closer to him. He kissed me sensuously. I returned the kissed. “So I hope you don’t mind but I need to use your shower. I brought my clothes with me so I could hurry to get to you.”

“Of course, that’s fine.”

“Well I have about a good hour before I need to start and get ready for work. What do you want to do?” He laughed. “Other than that.”

I fell backwards on the couch. Damn him. I covered my face with my arm.

“I don’t want our first time to be rushed.”

“Well, there is something that we used to do that sounds real good right now.” His eyebrows rose in suspicion.  I sat up slowly. “Could you just hold me like you used too?”

He laughed and smiled. “Really? Um, I don’t see why not. Come on, show me your room.” He stood up and pulled me with him. “Is Macy here?”

“No, she stayed over Rollins’ house last night.”

We walked into my room. I am glad my room wasn’t that messy. He sat on the edge of my bed and began to take off his shoes. I walked over and stood directly in front of him. He slowly pulled his shirt off and laid back on the bed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I missed being in his arms. I sat down slowly.

“Set your alarm on your phone for one hour.” I did as I was told then turned and slowly placed my head on his chest. His arm encircled my body. How he made me feel is indescribable. We just laid in silence, enjoying each other.

Fifteen minutes into our cuddle time, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and it was an old picture of my brother. It was taken a couple months after he started his dreads and got contacts. Now his dreads are on top his shoulders and his eyes are smoky grey.

“Hey Sterling.”

“Hey Sis. Look, me and Rob on our way to drop your car off.”

I sat up slowly off of Josh’s chest. “Ok cool. Thanks.”

“See ya in about five.”

“Yup.” I pressed the end button. 

Josh rubbed my back. “What’s going on pretty girl?”

“My brother and his boy are about to pull up with my car. I told him I wanted it back before I go to work.” I stood with a stretch. I walked to the door and I heard Josh clear his throat. I turned to him. “Yes?”

“Don’t you think you should put some pants on?”

“Why? My brother is just handing me the keys. They are not coming in. Don’t start tripping, Josh.”

He rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. He motioned for me to come to him. I walked slowly in between his legs.

“Sylver, humor me, ok? What if they do?” he placed his hands on my butt. “This is my ass and my entire ass is exposed. One, I know your brother would be mad if he sees that. Two, if his friend sees that I am going to be mad also.”

“But…ok Josh.” No point in arguing. Wouldn’t be the first time Rob would have seen my butt, but I wasn’t going to say that. I walked over to the dresser and threw on some shorts, when I heard a knock on the door.

“You know you pushing it with them shorts.” He stood and I quickly made my way passed him into the living room.

I opened the door slightly. There was my brother and Rob. I stuck my hand out the door.

“Thanks for bringing my car back.” He put the keys in my hand and pushed the door open more so they both could get through. Oh shit! Now I feel bad about putting on a pair of cut offs shorts that barely came to the top of my thigh.

Part 9 Words of Intimacy

Part 9 Words of Intimacy

Tuesday was a better day considering I didn't have to go into work. My plan was to catch up on sleep but my thoughts kept wondering about things. One thing, well one person, who continued to reoccur. Amber. When it came to Rollins' past relationships and sexual experiences, I flat out told him I didn't want to know. After meeting Amber, for some reason I believe I really wanted to know everything. I heard Sylver come into the apartment and thought I would run it by her.

"Sylver, can I ask you something?" I sat down on the couch across from her.

"Do I need to get my therapist hat on or my best friend hat?" She sat up straight after taking her shoes off.

I took a deep breath and responded, "A little bit of both. I am thinking about asking Rollins about his sexual past. Remember, when I told you about Amber? Well its keep popping back up in my head. Also I kind of wonder how he is able to go without for so long with no problem. We don't even talk about sex."

"Wow. Wow. That is a huge can of worms to open. Once you open it, you may regret it. But I can tell you one thing he is definitely spanking his monkey." She laughed almost hysterically. “Ok. My turn. I have something to tell you about how I got home.”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, Josh gave me a ride home since Sterling has my car.” My mouth dropped open as she continued. “He actually came into the store to get me. On his lunch break. He wouldn’t let me ride the bus.”

“Girl, you know Rollins hate me riding the bus.” I added.

“Long story short, we are back together with some conditions.”

“Yes. What are they?” I basically squealed with enjoyment.

She took a deep breath. “I can’t go clubbing like I used to and I have to dress more modestly. Kinda like you.  But the bonus is he said that I will finally get served properly.  Macy, let me tell you it has been too long. “

"Oh my! I am sorry I asked. But congratulations. I hope you find what you are looking for and more.  I am going to take a nap." I walked away as she continued to laugh.

Later that night, as usual, Rollins called but I really did not feel like talking. I was trying to figure out what to do.

"Hey Ms. Macy. How was your day off?"

"It was ok. And yours?"

"Um what’s on your mind? Is everything ok baby? You sound kind of down." His tone changed to concern.

I took a deep breath. "I'm good. How was your day?"

"Wow, so we are lying now. Well let me try and guess what's bothering you. I know it is not your period. That was last week. It couldn't be work, you were off today. I don't think I did anything. I have been really good." I couldn't help but to laugh. "That sounds a little better. Do you need to talk about something? You know I will listen."

"Well, actually there is something but I would rather do it face to face."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"No! No! Of course not. Baby, you know I love you. Could you come get me?" I said nervously.

Rollins responded nervously, "Of...course. You know you do not have to ask. Let me change my clothes and I will be there in an hour."

"Ok great." I hung up the phone and walked into Sylver's room. “I decided to go ahead and ask him. He is picking me up soon."

She was polishing her nails. "Ok well don't say I didn't warn you. The stuff he may say I could handle but I am not sure your virgin ears can handle it. But good luck and have fun. I am going to bed."

I walked out of the room and went to pack my work clothes for tomorrow. I was getting nervous about what he could and would say when I ask him. Maybe he won't answer the question because of the fuss I made before. I kept saying I did not want to know because it was his past. I sat there just contemplating. I laid back on the bed and just fell deep in thought.

"Are you ready?"

His voice startled me back into reality. I grabbed my chest as my heart started racing. I sat up and stared at him "You scared the crap out of me!"

He laughed, "Sorry. Didn't mean to. Aunt Jemima let me in. You ready?" He bent over and kissed my forehead.

I stood up and grabbed my bag, which he took from me. I told Sylver bye and followed him out the door. We got in the car in silence. We drove off.

I finally broke the silence and asked, "Have you ate dinner yet because I haven't and I am kind of hungry?"

"Well I will get you whatever you want but I don't think I can eat until I know what is weighing on your mind that couldn't be said over the phone. And then you are spending the night at my house on a work night. If you are breaking up with me I couldn't take it. We can work whatever it is out."

"Whoa Rollins. Calm down before we have an accident. For the last time, I am not breaking up with you. Why would I go to your house if I was going to break up with you? Let's stop at Taco Bell and get some nachos for both of us." He just nodded and continued to drive.

We got to his place and ate at the dining room table. He barely touched his nachos but just stared at me.

"Ok, Rollins. I see you are not going to eat. So I will tell what’s been on my mind." I took a deep breath. "First I will like to say don't get at mad at me but...”

He stood up and interrupted me, "Hold on, I feel as if I may need a beer or two." He went to the refrigerator and came back with two Miller Lites. "Ok please began."

"Well, I unknowingly lied to you long time ago. I said I did not want to know about your past relationships. But seeing Amber made me curious about a lot of things. Who have you been with? How many girls have you been with? I want to know everything even...how you are dealing with not having sex considering your past?"

He jumped up with his beer in his hand. "Oh hell no." He walked into the living room and started pacing. "Macy I don't think we should go there. I don't think you want to hear the truth."

I watched him go back and forth. "Yes I do. Please sit and tell me. I'm ready to know. How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

He knocked back the first beer and put it on the table. As he grabbed the second beer, he exhaled. “I was sixteen; it was after prom with a girl named Rachel. Do you really want to know this?" I nodded. "Ok, come seat on the couch with me. I will tell you everything you want to know. But remember this is my past. Before you.

"Ok honestly. I have been with 28 females in my lifetime. Once I had sex with Rachel, I was addicted. Then when I realized it was different with other girls, it was an obsession. I always practiced safe sex. In fact, I have never had sex without a condom.  I don't think there is anything I haven't done with a woman. When I was 22, while in college, I had a scare. A girl said she was pregnant by me. I was in an extreme panic. I wasn't ready to be a father. My first instinct was to say it wasn't mine but I trusted this girl. She wasn't the type to sleep around.

"When she was around three months pregnant, she was in a car accident and had a miscarriage. This turned my world upside down. I slowed down a whole lot and focused on my school work and getting a job. Once I started working for Symphony Records and money was rolling in, girls were coming after me. When I would travel for a concert, they would see me walk and talk with an artist. They thought I was either an easy way to get to the artist or just a meal ticket. That's when I had my first threesome.

"I still had my female friends that use to come by my apartment. When I got my big raise, I knew it was time to step up my game. That is when I bought the condo. My mother came over and gave me something to think about when it came to females at my house. What she said made sense so I started only going to their places or apartments. Mainly we would just meet at hotels. About Amber and Sheena. I met them at a record release parties at different times but later found out they were friends.

"Now it was hard to go cold turkey from sex when I met you. I knew you were something different.  So I did and do what comes natural and masturbated. I actually have a subscription to Playboy magazine and a couple porn websites. Is there anything else you wanted know?"

I sat there and swallowed everything he told me. I was grossed out by it all. My boyfriend was once a hoe. I wanted to go home. I couldn't speak. I had to respect the fact that he was being honest and that this was his past. I think the biggest chunk of disappointment came from the porn. Something about him looking at beautiful women to satisfy himself, just made my stomach feel twisted.

I stood up and said, "Let me process this. I am going to bed." I walked passed his drained face and went upstairs to the guest bedroom. I took a shower and tried to grasp how I felt about it all. I put on my pajamas that was in the drawer and climbed in the bed. I heard him knock on the door, I did not respond. Just rolled over and went to sleep.

In the morning, we walked around each other in silence. In the car, silence. I still didn't know how I felt other than grossed out. Something about porn just seemed like cheating. We pulled up at my job and I climbed out slowly.

"Bye."

Sadly, he said, "Bye," and drove off.

Words of Intimacy Part 8

Slyver

I decided on some chicken fried rice while he grabbed him a Subway sandwich. We took a seat in a booth with our trays.

“Who was that white guy in the suit? He looked way out of place.”

“That was the district manager, Roger.  He is watching me because I applied for the manager position. So I may know something by the end of the week.”

He smiled. “Well, go ahead Ms. Career woman. Good Luck.”

“Thanks. So you still live in Clifton?” I felt more nervous with Josh than I did at work with Roger.

“Yes, but my roommate finally moved out so it is just me. And you?”

“No, actually Macy and I share an apartment near Colerain.”

“How is Macy? Is she still with that rich dude?” he asked.

I gave a slight laugh. “Yes, she is still with Rollins. They have the kind of relationship that I want.”

He put his sandwich done and folded his hands. “Well, what makes you think you can handle the type of relationship. I thought what we have was something special and you threw it away. You crushed me when you told me about dude. You are part of the reason I do not want to get back in a serious relationship with anyone.”

I covered my eyes as if it would hold in my tears if I let them fall. “Josh, I am truly sorry. I regret it. 

Tell me what I need to do to get a second chance with you to show you that I have changed.”

He grabbed my hand from my face. Josh swallowed hard and said, “I am going to be honest with you. If we decide to try this again, there will have to be some changes.”

“Like what?”

“I do not know how to say this without hurting your feelings. But if you are willing to make these changes, I will be the man you need and more.”  I looked him nervously. He continued, “First thing, your clothes.”

“What about my clothes?”

“When you are working you look very professional but other than that you have a tendency to be too revealing. Some things I want for only my eyes. I saw the pics on Facebook.  Like those low cut shirts for example. Yep, they have to go. You are beautiful woman but you do not have to show it all. As a man, I know other men are staring and plotting when they see them thick thighs and all that cleavage.  But that is my job.”

“My clothes are not that bad, Josh. I don’t see anything wrong with what I wear outside of work.  The clothes make me feel sexy. As long as men understand that they can look but never touch.”

“Yes, Silly, they are bad. They give off the wrong impression. When a guy sees a girl dressed like that, they do not think about dating her. They just want to hit it. You can still be sexy and be a lady at the same time.”

I put my face down. That hurt but I could understand what he was saying and coming from.

“Look at me, Silly. Your clubbing has to calm down almost to none. I personally find it disrespectful if my woman is out at the club, half-naked, shaking it on some man who thinks he may get lucky. If I am asking for too much tell me. I know you want to go out and have a good time. I just think most people at the club are trying to hook up.”

Damn. Am I willing to give up my wardrobe and clubbing for this man? Maybe. “Is there anything else?”

“Nothing more than the obvious. We definitely need to work on our communication. If you would have just talked to me in the beginning, we probably would not be having this conversation.  Also, I would like your Sundays to be guaranteed for me. Of course, I would want to be with you on other days but that will be our day. No excuses.”

“What if I have to work?”

“Well as soon as you are done, it’s our time.”

I nodded my head at him. “So can I ask a question?” He nodded. “If I do all of that, will I get...um...rewarded finally?” I can’t lie, it’s been a moment since I was satisfied and I wanted him. We never went all the way, something always came up. Plus he had a ninety day rule.

He laughed. “I don’t see why not. “ He stood up and came over to my side of the booth. I scooted over slightly to welcome him. He placed his arm along the back of the seat. “So what do you think? Could you do all that for me?” He grabbed my hand.

I stared at my hand in his hand. Can I make this commitment to him? “Yes, I would like to do this.”

He released my hand and pulled my chin closer to him. His lips connected with mine and I felt an instant heat wave come over my body.

He stared into my eyes with slight smile draped over his lips. “Was there anything that you wanted me to change?”

“Well, you can nix the ninety day rule this time around.”

He laughed, “Oh really? How long has it been for you?” He began eating again.

“About four months. You?”

“That would have been the relationship before you. I haven’t been with anyone sexually since then.”

My mouth dropped open. I wish I could be more disciplined. I continued to eat my food. I felt his hand rub on my leg slowly. I couldn't help but smile. Once I finished my food, he grabbed both our trays and disposed of them. We walked back to my job. We stopped at the store before mine.

He held my hand and said, “I think I can nix the ninety day rule. I am not sure I could wait that long this time anyway.” I smiled as thoughts swam through my head that sent sensations down below. 

“You still have your car?”

“Yes and no. I still have my car but my brother Sterling has it right now.”

“So, are you riding the bus home?”  I nodded. “What time are you getting off? I will come back to take you home.”

“I will be ok on the bus.”

He pulled me into his arms. A small evil grin appeared on his face. “Excuse me.  What did I say?”

I giggled. “My bad. 5:30.”

“I will take my lunch then.  Um, this is awkward. Your boss keeps looking this way.” I turned around and saw Roger at the sunglasses kiosk outside our store.

“Josh, you must be tripping. Well, let me get back to work. Bye.” I started to walk towards my store. Josh grabbed my arm and turned me back around.

“Silly, you know how I feel about not getting a kiss good-bye.” He kissed me softly on my lips. 

“Now you can go to work. I will be back at 5:30 to get you.” I smiled and turned towards my store. 

This time I caught Roger looking at us.