Words of Intimacy Part 10

Words of Intimacy Part 10

Sylver

I woke up Wednesday morning with the biggest smile I have had in a while. I didn’t have to go into work until 11:30. I gave a slight frown when I saw the clock. Why in the world am I up at 5:30? Ugh, I am not a morning person. I rolled over and grabbed my phone off my night stand. I apparently missed a text from Josh.

                “I AM GUESSING YOU WENT TO BED ALREADY.  I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. CAN I SEE YOU TOMORROW? CALL ME WHEN YOU WAKE UP. I GO IN AT 9. GOOD NIGHT SILLY.”

Butterflies filled my stomach. He got me acting like some school girl. Should I call him?

“Hello?”

“Good morning Josh. Did I wake you? You told me to call you when I woke up.”

He cleared his throat with a chuckle. “I love a woman who can follow orders.”

“Ha Ha Very funny.”

“I thought so. Good morning, Silly. What time do you go in?”

I sat up against the headboard. “11:30. I only work til 7.”

“Ok, can we get together tonight so we can talk some more about us? There are some things I would like to get off my chest before we really do this relationship thing.”

I took a deep breath. “That scares me. Not sure if I want to say yes then. I am not in the mood to cry.”

“Really? Don’t act like that. It wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t completely honest with you. Now can I see you tonight?”

I cannot stand when people tell you ahead of time that they need to talk to you. “Why don’t you tell me a little about what you have to get off your chest?  If you don’t, I am going to do nothing but worry about that all day long while I am at work. “

“Babe, listen. I want us to just be on the same page when it comes to us. You are making me get deep this early in the morning before my coffee.” I heard a lot of movement. “You said you left me the first time because I was getting too serious for you. I was really feeling you then and I wanted you to meet my family. Do I want to get married? Yes and have at least 2 kids. But I have time. I am only 29. Do you want to eventually get married?”

This was pretty deep for the morning. “Wow, um, yes I do, eventually.”

“That’s good to know. When you told me that BS about you sleeping with dude, that shit hurt. I was seriously bitter. I said I would never back track and give a girl a second chance to hurt me. But my heart jumped when you called and I couldn’t ignore that. I fell hard for you. I felt as if you made me soft or something. I wasn’t used to that feeling then and the feelings you are making me feel now. My love for you was real.  Do you understand what I am saying, Silly?”

I couldn’t say anything. I was trying to stop the tears. I really hurt this man. I don’t deserve him. I never had a man confess real feelings for me. He was the first man to ever say that he loved me.

“Sylver? Answer me.”

“Yes.” My voice was quiet.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop crying. This is part of the reason I wanted to talk to you tonight so I can be with you if you cried. Shit!” The tone in his voiced grew tenser.  There was silence from both ends of the phone for a couple minutes. I did not know what to say to him.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything Josh.” Now the real water works began to flow. “I can’t do this. You deserve better. I can’t handle a man like you. When we were together it used to scare me how well you knew me and understood me. I slept with dude to make you hate me. This is going to sound stupid but I was scared of you because you were too good to be true. I can’t do this. I have to get off this phone.”

He yelled, “Sylver, if you hang up that phone, I swear I will...Talk to me.”

“Josh, please.”

“Why would you be scared of a good thing? Explain that to me.”

“Because I don’t deserve them. I am not the type of person that good things should happen too. Can I get off the phone now?”

“Sure because I am almost there! You better open the door.”

I sat straight up on my bed. He wouldn’t. “Josh, no! Don’t come over here. I am fine.”

“Girl, please. I’m not listening to you. I am already parking.”

I jumped up from my bed praying he was lying. There he was getting out of his car with the phone in his hand. He reached in the back of his white 2009 Chevy Impala and grabbed what look like a suit. I stepped back from the window and slightly panic. I forgot I was on the phone.

“Come open the door, Silly.”

I pressed the end button and rushed to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.  I backed up as he walked in. He placed his things down in the chair. I kept my back to him as I closed the door to hide my face.

“Come over here so we can talk.”

I wiped my face with the back of my sleeves. “How did you get here so fast?” I slowly sat across from him on the couch.

“I was going to surprise you and show up with breakfast. But then you started crying, so I forgot about the food. Look, I am not trying to hurt your feelings at all. I wanted you to understand how I felt when you left me. You are going to have to help me trust you again. You need to talk to me whenever there is a problem. Do you understand?” He grabbed my hand.

I couldn’t look him in his face. I nodded. He lifted my chin.

“I missed you.  I honestly found myself comparing other girls to you. None of them was cute like you. They weren’t loud like you or had your funky attitude. They definitely did not have a body like yours. Is this what you wear to bed?” He smiled as he stared at my jersey that I used for pajamas. It barely covered my butt. In my panic I forgot to put pants on.

I couldn’t help but to smile back. “I am not sure if I should be mad or happy over that.”

He scooted closer to me. “You should be happy about that. I know I am.” He placed his hand through my hair and pulled my face closer to him. He kissed me sensuously. I returned the kissed. “So I hope you don’t mind but I need to use your shower. I brought my clothes with me so I could hurry to get to you.”

“Of course, that’s fine.”

“Well I have about a good hour before I need to start and get ready for work. What do you want to do?” He laughed. “Other than that.”

I fell backwards on the couch. Damn him. I covered my face with my arm.

“I don’t want our first time to be rushed.”

“Well, there is something that we used to do that sounds real good right now.” His eyebrows rose in suspicion.  I sat up slowly. “Could you just hold me like you used too?”

He laughed and smiled. “Really? Um, I don’t see why not. Come on, show me your room.” He stood up and pulled me with him. “Is Macy here?”

“No, she stayed over Rollins’ house last night.”

We walked into my room. I am glad my room wasn’t that messy. He sat on the edge of my bed and began to take off his shoes. I walked over and stood directly in front of him. He slowly pulled his shirt off and laid back on the bed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I missed being in his arms. I sat down slowly.

“Set your alarm on your phone for one hour.” I did as I was told then turned and slowly placed my head on his chest. His arm encircled my body. How he made me feel is indescribable. We just laid in silence, enjoying each other.

Fifteen minutes into our cuddle time, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and it was an old picture of my brother. It was taken a couple months after he started his dreads and got contacts. Now his dreads are on top his shoulders and his eyes are smoky grey.

“Hey Sterling.”

“Hey Sis. Look, me and Rob on our way to drop your car off.”

I sat up slowly off of Josh’s chest. “Ok cool. Thanks.”

“See ya in about five.”

“Yup.” I pressed the end button. 

Josh rubbed my back. “What’s going on pretty girl?”

“My brother and his boy are about to pull up with my car. I told him I wanted it back before I go to work.” I stood with a stretch. I walked to the door and I heard Josh clear his throat. I turned to him. “Yes?”

“Don’t you think you should put some pants on?”

“Why? My brother is just handing me the keys. They are not coming in. Don’t start tripping, Josh.”

He rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. He motioned for me to come to him. I walked slowly in between his legs.

“Sylver, humor me, ok? What if they do?” he placed his hands on my butt. “This is my ass and my entire ass is exposed. One, I know your brother would be mad if he sees that. Two, if his friend sees that I am going to be mad also.”

“But…ok Josh.” No point in arguing. Wouldn’t be the first time Rob would have seen my butt, but I wasn’t going to say that. I walked over to the dresser and threw on some shorts, when I heard a knock on the door.

“You know you pushing it with them shorts.” He stood and I quickly made my way passed him into the living room.

I opened the door slightly. There was my brother and Rob. I stuck my hand out the door.

“Thanks for bringing my car back.” He put the keys in my hand and pushed the door open more so they both could get through. Oh shit! Now I feel bad about putting on a pair of cut offs shorts that barely came to the top of my thigh.