Words of Intimacy Part 4

Words of Intimacy Part 4

"What are you doing?" he asked with a confused stare.

I smiled and said, "I thought you did this before."  I tried to kiss him but he dodged me. "Whats wrong?"

"I thought you wanted to wait."

"I changed my mind. So, kiss me, Rollins. I want this."

His eyes said that he was unsure of my decision but he allowed me to kiss him anyway. I felt his hands leisurely start to roam my body. I was actually really nervous. His hands were skin on skin with my breast for the first time. I let out a moan as he massaged them. His left hand let up and traveled down south passed my belly button to my Secrets. I gasped. His hands ejected from my body as if he was in a robbery.

I made an effort to bring his hands back to my body. Denied. "Really? You don't want me? What's wrong?"

He scoffed, "You have no idea how bad I do. But this doesn't feel right. You are not ready. I want you to be ready with love instead of ready with influence of the ghetto persuasion."

I can appreciate what he was saying but still for some reason I felt hurt. I threw back on the jersey quickly, forgetting about my bra. I laid back on my side of the bed with my arms folded.

"Woman, if you don't unfold your arms and fix your face. Plus we couldn't if we wanted to, I have no protection. Now get over here." He held his arms out to me. I crawled back into his arms and watched the rest of the movie.

In the morning when I woke up, as usual, he was gone. We always slept in separate beds at night because he said it was the best way for him to fight temptation. I didn't bother getting dressed. I walked into the hallway and heard him downstairs on the phone as I descended to join him. We made eye contact. He gave me the sign to stay quiet.

"Yes Momma. I will ask her but she is always working.......yes, I know.....I will as soon as she wakes up.....yes, I know.......I love you too Momma. Goodbye." He put his phone on the table and gestured for me to come to him. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me on my forehead. "Good morning Ms. Macy. I hope you slept well."

"It would have been better to wake up next to you but I get it."

"I am going to ignore that statement. Momma wants us, meaning you, to come for dinner. She says name the day. I told her you are always working which by the way I don't agree with." He hinted.

"And I am going to ignore that statement. Tomorrow is fine." I tried to get up but he wouldn't let me.

He softly grabbed my face and asked, "Are we good? Last night you seem pissed, even in your sleep. Once you were sleeping, I tucked you in, then tried to kiss you good night. You pushed me away and grunted."

"Yes, I am good."

"Lying doesn't agree with you.  Talk to me."

"No, I am good just hungry. Can I get up now?"

"Yes as soon as I hear some truth come out of your mouth. You know the worst thing about being lied to is the feeling that you are not worth the truth." He held onto me faintly tighter.

I took a deep breath, " I am good now. I was feeling a little spurned and undesired by you. But I promise I am good now. Seriously, everything is cool." I jumped up and started to make me some cereal. He came directly behind me and pressed his body into my back. His hands started at my shoulders and slowly traveled their way down to my hands.

"Spurned? Undesired? Ms. Macy I am not sure why you have been tripping, maybe you should go see a professional. I'll pay for it." I turned around ready to smack him. He picked me up and placed me on the counter. He stood in between my legs "Look, you have got to be going crazy to think I don't want you, need you, crave you or love you. But I will make love to you when you are sincerely ready. And when that happens, I am going to make love to you until you can’t walk or think straight. You are the only one I want for the rest of my life. I am not going anywhere. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir. I understand." I loved and hated this man. I kissed him the most loving way I could. Am I ready? Yes and no. I know I want him to be the one. There is no doubt in my mind but I do want to wait for it to be truly special like my wedding night. Call me old fashion but it just seems so right and romantic. Well it did at one time. Another part of me just wanted to get it over with.

He kissed me back until I started to purr deep in my throat. "Please don't make me repeat myself. Now get off my counter before you become my breakfast." He gave me one last kiss on my forehead, helped me down, and then smacked me on my butt.

Rollins sat down at the table with his breakfast and began to read an Essence magazine with some of the cast from the movie "Think Like A Man"

"I love Taraji Henson's hair. Rollins how do you feel about me getting my hair cut like that." I asked as I grabbed a bowl.

"No!"

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" I stopped what I was doing.

Without even looking up he said, "I said no. What didn't you understand, Ms. Macy? I hate short hair strongly."

"But I.."

"Drop it Macy. Not sure where this came from but leave it there. You are perfect the way you are. But thanks for asking how I felt about it." I left it alone. Pick your battles. One thing, I learned from my parents relationship is allow the man to be head of the household. Involve him in pretty much every decision or things will end badly. Karma is a......