Words of Intimacy Part 5

Words of Intimacy Part 5

*****Flashback --July 2009

I was hanging out at my parents' house doing laundry. In between loads I was helping my mom cut and organize her coupons when I got a phone call from Sylver.

"Hey girl. What's up?"

"Macy, guess what I just heard? Baby Boy is performing at Champions tonight. You have to call Peaches and see if she can use some of her connections to get us in free." Sylver practically yelled into my ear.

"Baby Boy? At Champions tonight? Oh yes we are definitely there. I don't have anything to wear."

She scoffed, " Girl find something in that mess of a closet of yours."

"Whatever. Let me finish up here and I will be home. Bye." I hung up the phone and looked over at my mom who was now shaking her head. She stood to refresh her tea.  "What's wrong Mom?"

"Nothing sweetie. I hope you have fun." she said pouring hot water into her cup.

I knew it wasn't nothing. "Really, Mom?"

"Well, did you think to ask Rollins how he feels about you going to some club to see some man sing and grind on stage? I know I may be old fashion but in my day and still today when you are in a committed relationship you don't go places like that unless he says its okay. Even though he is your boyfriend, you need to practice now so he will want to be your husband some day. Its all about respect, Intimacy. Take his feelings in consideration. Think about it."

"Yes ma'am." I said as she walked out of the kitchen. I did think about it and what she said makes sense. But Rollins trusts me regardless what I do and not to mention there is not a ring on my finger. Not to mention I really haven't been to the club since we have been together.

I finished my laundry and headed home to find me something to wear for tonight. Sylver was blasting music and dancing around the living when I walked in. I turned down the music and somewhat scared her.

"Hey! Oh hey girl, what's up? You ready for tonight?"

I dropped my baskets in the living room, "Oh yeah girl. I talked to Peaches and she said the only way she would get us in was if we take her with us."

"No biggie. I have no problem with Peaches. What did Rollins say about you going?" she said while cleaning up the living room.

"He doesn't know." Sylver's eyes perked up once the words left my mouth. " Not you too. He doesn't have to know my every move." I walked my baskets to my room with her close behind.

"Well whatever lets just get ready to go. Can I wear your red heels?" Sylver asked.

I stood in front of my closet trying to find what I was going to wear and just nodded my head.

While she was in the shower, I began to get excited about going out. I contemplated calling Rollins but considering he hadn't call me, I assume he was still working or sleep. I decided wearing a pair of black capris, Sylver's gold backless halter, and her gold heels. She wears my clothes all the time too. Sometimes more than me.

We rode in Sylver's car to pick up Peaches and then to Champions. We were having a wonderful time. Baby Boy was tearing up the stage. Peaches and Sylver were flirting with some men. They had a friend with them that kept staring at me but I was just focused on Baby Boy. When the concert was over I wanted to go home but apparently that was not the plan. Somehow the guys convinced them to go grab something to eat with them. Peaches rode with Dejuan. Sylver and I rode with the brothers, David and Tank.

We went to the Waffle House in Covington. They were having a good time and I wanted to go to bed. Tank continued to pursue me even though my status was clearly in a relationship.

"Well, since you are here with me instead of him, why not make the best of it?" He moved over closer to me.

I rolled my eyes and text Sylver 'I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!!!!' After I sent it, I realize that I missed a message from Rollins.

'HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU ALL DAY BABY. SORRY FOR WORKING SO MUCH. CALL OR TEXT ME WHENEVER. I LOVE YOU.'

That message came two hours ago. I started missing Rollins. Tank finally got the hint I wasn't interested and got up to talk to his boys. Next thing I knew, they were leaving us at Waffle House with the bill.

"What the hell are we going to do? How are we going to get to my car? We don't have enough for a taxi and the bill." Sylver eyes widened and looked at me. "Macy you have to call Rollins. He is the only one that will come and get us this early in the morning."

She was right but for some reason I was afraid to call him. Would he be mad at me? I told her," You call him. I don't want to." I handed her my phone.

"Are you serious? Girl call him."

I took a deep breath and speed dialed his number. "Macy? What are you doing up so late? Everything ok?" His voice sounded groggy.

"Rollins, please don't be mad at me but I was wondering if you could pick us up."

"Um, who is us and where are you?"

"Me, Sylver and Peaches. We are at the Waffle House in Covington and Sylver's car is at Champions." I said sadly.

I heard him exhale, "Ugh, I am on my way. I am counting on you to explain everything when I get there." He hung up the phone.

I hated disappointing him. I nodded my head to let them know he was coming. While waiting we finished our food. They talked and I listened. They continued laughing and I finally said,"This is Karma getting me back for not listening to my mom. Somehow. I know it. This would not have happen if I would have told Rollins that I was going to the club."

"Girl you didn't tell him you was going out tonight? He is going to rip you a new one. Regardless how he may trust you or always says yes to you going somewhere, you still have to run it by him. Even I know that. You got to let them feel like they have some control. Let them...um." Peaches was staring out the window at two sets of headlights.

Sylver said, "Oh shit!"

We started getting our stuff together, taking our last bites, and putting money together for the bill when Rollins and Malachi walked in. Rollins stared at me awkwardly. He grabbed the check from under our money and looked at it. His eyes widened at the amount.

"Sylver and Peaches,  you can ride with Malachi to your car." He turned around and paid the bill. The girls gathered their money. In sync, they both got up and mouthed the words 'good luck' to me. He turned back to me and said, "You ready, Ms. Macy?" I got up and he followed me out to the car. He let me in and walked around to his side.

We sat there quietly while Malachi drove off. I turned to him and was ready to plead my case. He put his finger on my lips. He pulled my seat belt on.

"I thought about it and I really don't want to hear what happened. I have the feeling it will piss me off and I will want to kick someone's ass. Won't I?" I nodded slowly. He yawned and continued,"I will say two things though. One, I hate not hearing from you and not knowing whats going on. Two, burn that shirt as soon as we get to my house. Don't want to see it again." He gave a slight laugh as we drove off.

"Fine, but.."

"Nope, nothing."

********

We enjoyed the rest day just lounging around his house. Watching America's Funniest Videos reruns, reading the paper and the occasional make out session.

On the way to my apartment, I remembered something. "Hey Baby can you take me to the store before you take me home, please? I have nothing for my lunch."

"Sure. Is Wal-Mart ok?" I nodded. "Wal-Mart it is then."

I gathered everything I wanted for my lunch and somehow we ended up in the women section joking around. I left him for one moment to go grab me some black socks for work. When I returned there was some chocolate Barbie talking to him. She was cute. That had to be one of those Malaysian weaves. Probably a size 6. Boobs that sat up like a tabletop. I stayed back for a minute.

She gave him a hug but he kept his distance. "Oh my God,  Rollins how long has it been?" the girl asked, batting her false eyelashes.

Words of Intimacy Part 4

Words of Intimacy Part 4

"What are you doing?" he asked with a confused stare.

I smiled and said, "I thought you did this before."  I tried to kiss him but he dodged me. "Whats wrong?"

"I thought you wanted to wait."

"I changed my mind. So, kiss me, Rollins. I want this."

His eyes said that he was unsure of my decision but he allowed me to kiss him anyway. I felt his hands leisurely start to roam my body. I was actually really nervous. His hands were skin on skin with my breast for the first time. I let out a moan as he massaged them. His left hand let up and traveled down south passed my belly button to my Secrets. I gasped. His hands ejected from my body as if he was in a robbery.

I made an effort to bring his hands back to my body. Denied. "Really? You don't want me? What's wrong?"

He scoffed, "You have no idea how bad I do. But this doesn't feel right. You are not ready. I want you to be ready with love instead of ready with influence of the ghetto persuasion."

I can appreciate what he was saying but still for some reason I felt hurt. I threw back on the jersey quickly, forgetting about my bra. I laid back on my side of the bed with my arms folded.

"Woman, if you don't unfold your arms and fix your face. Plus we couldn't if we wanted to, I have no protection. Now get over here." He held his arms out to me. I crawled back into his arms and watched the rest of the movie.

In the morning when I woke up, as usual, he was gone. We always slept in separate beds at night because he said it was the best way for him to fight temptation. I didn't bother getting dressed. I walked into the hallway and heard him downstairs on the phone as I descended to join him. We made eye contact. He gave me the sign to stay quiet.

"Yes Momma. I will ask her but she is always working.......yes, I know.....I will as soon as she wakes up.....yes, I know.......I love you too Momma. Goodbye." He put his phone on the table and gestured for me to come to him. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me on my forehead. "Good morning Ms. Macy. I hope you slept well."

"It would have been better to wake up next to you but I get it."

"I am going to ignore that statement. Momma wants us, meaning you, to come for dinner. She says name the day. I told her you are always working which by the way I don't agree with." He hinted.

"And I am going to ignore that statement. Tomorrow is fine." I tried to get up but he wouldn't let me.

He softly grabbed my face and asked, "Are we good? Last night you seem pissed, even in your sleep. Once you were sleeping, I tucked you in, then tried to kiss you good night. You pushed me away and grunted."

"Yes, I am good."

"Lying doesn't agree with you.  Talk to me."

"No, I am good just hungry. Can I get up now?"

"Yes as soon as I hear some truth come out of your mouth. You know the worst thing about being lied to is the feeling that you are not worth the truth." He held onto me faintly tighter.

I took a deep breath, " I am good now. I was feeling a little spurned and undesired by you. But I promise I am good now. Seriously, everything is cool." I jumped up and started to make me some cereal. He came directly behind me and pressed his body into my back. His hands started at my shoulders and slowly traveled their way down to my hands.

"Spurned? Undesired? Ms. Macy I am not sure why you have been tripping, maybe you should go see a professional. I'll pay for it." I turned around ready to smack him. He picked me up and placed me on the counter. He stood in between my legs "Look, you have got to be going crazy to think I don't want you, need you, crave you or love you. But I will make love to you when you are sincerely ready. And when that happens, I am going to make love to you until you can’t walk or think straight. You are the only one I want for the rest of my life. I am not going anywhere. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir. I understand." I loved and hated this man. I kissed him the most loving way I could. Am I ready? Yes and no. I know I want him to be the one. There is no doubt in my mind but I do want to wait for it to be truly special like my wedding night. Call me old fashion but it just seems so right and romantic. Well it did at one time. Another part of me just wanted to get it over with.

He kissed me back until I started to purr deep in my throat. "Please don't make me repeat myself. Now get off my counter before you become my breakfast." He gave me one last kiss on my forehead, helped me down, and then smacked me on my butt.

Rollins sat down at the table with his breakfast and began to read an Essence magazine with some of the cast from the movie "Think Like A Man"

"I love Taraji Henson's hair. Rollins how do you feel about me getting my hair cut like that." I asked as I grabbed a bowl.

"No!"

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" I stopped what I was doing.

Without even looking up he said, "I said no. What didn't you understand, Ms. Macy? I hate short hair strongly."

"But I.."

"Drop it Macy. Not sure where this came from but leave it there. You are perfect the way you are. But thanks for asking how I felt about it." I left it alone. Pick your battles. One thing, I learned from my parents relationship is allow the man to be head of the household. Involve him in pretty much every decision or things will end badly. Karma is a......